Purush was in labour pain--- well, it would be better, and more appropriate, to call it labour bliss!

(But this story is only an ‘ART FICTION’)

If you have not guessed it by now, let me clarify : Purush was pregnant. In the very advance stages !

Dr. Guttu, who had behind him, thirty years of experience in Gerontology, examined Purush’s toe-nails and pronounced : The old man can come out any minute now.

Having said this, Dr Guttu sent an SMS to Kurup, the grave-digger. Kurup was the finest mid-husband in the entire neighbourhood. He had brought many a laughing old-new-borns into this world; with his unstable, yet able hands. Men in the city often proclaimed : “It’s a shame to be born, if one is not excavated by Kurup !”

Satisfied that Kurup would pick up the SMS, Dr Guttu ran to the hospital backyard where his brand new twin-bell tricycle was parked. With his enormous experience of old-men births, doc was confident that Purush would not make the delivery of his merchandise for another four hours. Well, he had proclaimed otherwise, but that is a different matter altogether – professional games-man-ship you see !

Having ensured that Dr. Guttu was well on his way to the amusement park, nurse De-So-So leisurely poured herself a generous drink of Glucon –C ( courtesy Purush’s supplies).
The poor father-to-be would not know, De-So-So argued with herself. Since she was a consummate arguer, she won, as usual. While she was at it, she drank a lid full of Glycodin as well !

Feeling fed-up, she impulsively rang the bell.
Now, Purush was an office peon by profession who had only one weakness in his psyche : He simply had to rush, whenever any bell rang. As soon as De-So-So pressed the bell button, Purush, un- mindful of his pregnancy, ran towards De-So-So’s room.

At that very minute, Kurup had entered the hospital corridor and was, as usual, indulging himself in the luxury of counting lizards on the wall. This was his passion. Mid-husbandry was merely a profession, as was grave-digging !

So, to cut a long story short, Kurup, with head somewhere in the air and his gaze fixed on the ceiling ( one fat lizard had jumped from the wall to the ceiling and had attracted Kurup’s attention ) took a bend round the corner and banged right into Purush – who was rushing to the nurse’s chamber.

This big bang was just what the hapless old man inside was waiting for !
The old-man was delivered right there on the hospital floor. Kurup had performed a perfect delivery once again ! and with effortless ease!

De-So-So heard the commotion and fought a fleeting temptation to take another swig from the Glycodin bottle, before she ventured out to examine the cause of the crash. Well, Glycodin-less, she rushed out and saw the new-born – in all its pink nakedness, toothless and wailing !

Why is this poor new born crying ? she wondered. As newly born old-men had always been known to smile.

At that very minute, she heard Dr. Guttu entering the hospital compound on his shining tricycle. Dr. Guttu must have changed his plan and was returning early. Well, how did De-So-So hear Dr. guttu ? Quite obviously Dr Guttu was gallantly ringing the twin-bells on his tricycle. In fact ,the doctor hated silence and was known to create quite a racket with his bike, whenever he entered the hospital gate.

And ah! You might have guessed it. Purush also heard the twin-bells. As he was an office peon by profession, which you already know, he ran towards Dr Guttu.

But the old man, who was crying for a strange reason, suddenly pulled at the umbilical chord ! Purush was a first time father who had no experience with pulled umbilical chords. He tripped and fell down with a loud thud. This caused the new-born-old-man to laugh. The old man burst out into guffaws.

Dr. Guttu, too, was quick to react. Not for nothing he was a gerontologist with thirty years repute. He immediately examined the toe-nails of the new-born and pronounced: It is a healthy old man. The delivery is normal !

In all this confusion, nurse De-So-So hurriedly slipped into her room and gulped two lid-fulls of Glycodin!

Later, Istree, Purush’s jubilant wife, overjoyed at the thought of having become a mother to the new-born-old-man, paid the fat bill that Dr. Guttu presented!