| Siddiqi |
|
 |
Member Since
15 Jan 2009 |
|
| Posts : 55 |
|
|
|
| Posted on 24/03/2009 (2 Years ago) |
|
|
| A Polish (citizen of Poland country) man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was very worst, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
- It made of concrete.
I don’t think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?
- No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relation is like?
- All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
- No, I am always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
- No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
- She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
- I got proof.
What kind of proof?
- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: “Polish Remover”. |
|
|
| gwgjr51 |
|
 |
Member Since
24 Mar 2009 |
|
| Posts : 1 |
|
|
|
| Posted on 24/03/2009 (2 Years ago) |
|
|
| Really funny stuff, Mike! Thanks for brightening my day! |
|
|
|
| Posted on 23/03/2009 (2 Years ago) |
|
|
| A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" |
|
|
|
| Posted on 23/03/2009 (2 Years ago) |
|
|
| Absolutely hilrious dude! You rock! |
|
|
|
| Posted on 20/03/2009 (2 Years ago) |
|
|
| A man was driving through the country when his car broke down. He decided to walk to the nearest farm to ask for help.
As he started walking a cow in the adjacent field said to him, "It sounds like the carburetor needs adjusting." The man was shocked by a talking cow and he ignored it and kept walking.
The man got to the farm and asked for help. Then he told the farmer about what the cow had said to him.
"Was it a big brown cow with a bell around it neck?" the farmer asked.
"Yes, as a matter of fact it was."
"Oh, that's old Bessy. Don't listen to her, she don't know nothing about cars." |
|
|
|
